Culture War Scene 1


Buddy: “Hey Maureen, what’s the holdup with the pancakes? Get your ass over here and at least warm up our coffee.”

Junior: “You can’t talk like that Buddy. Come on!”

Buddy: “Relax limp dick. Didn’t you ever hear of Italian foreplay? “Hey Marie get over here!” Ha Ha Ha. Maureen is ok. She is used to it. The only reason this dump has any business is all the men sitting at the counter looking at her ass making pancakes.”

Junior: “Maybe so Frank but didn’t you ever hear of women’s lib and what is appropriate and so forth? Sexual harassment?”

Buddy: “You commies better watch your ass or we will round you up and send you to Guantanamo.”

 Junior: “Take it easy Buddy. I thought this was a free country. You can say what you want, first amendment and all that.”

“Maybe but it has gone too far Junior: Black Lives Matter bullshit, homo marriage, men becoming women. What will be next?”

“It’s not 1950 anymore Buddy, sorry to tell you. The world has changed and still changing more. You can’t stop history. It is like a big wave. You either go with it or you drown.”

“When we were kids, we could say the Lord’s Prayer in school, the Pledge of Allegiance: One nation under God. The Libs won’t let that happen now.”

 “Like I said Buddy, “The Times They are a Changin” to  quote Bob Dylan. How right he was and never more than now when it is all happening so fast.”

“Trump was trying to get us back to core American values. What a fine man he is.”

“How can you say that Buddy? It amazes me that people can’t see him for what he is, an ego-driven liar who only thinks about himself. He represents everything that is wrong with America and the American system.”

“I could say the same thing to you Junior. How can you not see that he has the best interests of the country at heart. America first!”

“We don’t live in the world by ourself Buddy. We all are in it together. If we don’t understand that, we really are doomed. Nothing will make it more clear than the consequences to the environment happening now. It is sure to get worse every year.”

“Don’t panic Junior. There are more fish off Montauk than ever and the water in the Sound is cleaner than it has ever been in our lifetime.”

“Yeah, maybe Buddy, but if you look at the bigger picture it is not so pretty.”

“A Commie like you probably thinks China is better. They are the biggest polluters in the world.”

“They have lifted millions of people out of poverty since 1949, millions. Definitely it wasn’t easy and a lot of people suffered. But they did it and part of how they did it has to do with the pollution you mentioned. Energy, factories, jobs, pollution, like that. Now they are focusing on cleaning up the environment. They realize they have to do it.”

“You can’t believe anything they say Junior. It is all controlled. Nobody knows what is going on there.”

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